Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Universe Can Confuse Me To Death

I met God by the post office in the year of 2007. She introduced herself as God, and I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. God is a middle-aged Hatian woman. She has wild and distracting hair. Half of her head is a single dreadlock - the rest goes wherever it wants.

At the time I was drinking coke and whisky out of a Wendy’s cup. I was sitting on a low wall underneath a banyan tree. The time of day was late. Late late late. Music and boisterous yammering could be heard clearly from a block away. This spot, however, was quiet. There are no bars or strip clubs near this particular tree.

A few minutes earlier, I was picking up dog food. A heavy bag ripped down the side, and two sleepy travelers spilled a great deal on the sidewalk. The spill concerned and upset them, and I felt a duty to help.

“Look” I showed them, as I sat down on the sidewalk and began to sweep with my hands. “This is not a big deal. It’s easy to clean up, and you won’t lose much.” I lifted the kibble in big scoops, and put it into a grocery bag they had. Within a couple minutes, the food spill was completely contained. We all exchanged smiles, and I wished them luck. Unlike me, they didn’t yet have a place to sleep. Soon after they left, I met God.

God felt like I didn’t believe her. I told her I didn’t know anything. I’m just some guy standing and taking up space. She attempted to explain what she does in her capacity. I listened intently, but it quickly stopped making sense. She got frustrated with me and left. God turned out not to be all-powerful. She was a sczophrenic Hatian woman, I'm almost sure.

I saw God later in the Kmart. I used to use the restrooms there every morning. She would go there, I assume for the air conditioning, and stand perfectly still and transfixed by the wall of TVs. I would see her again in the parking lot. She wears heavy clothing and sits directly in the sun.

Our first conversation was nine years ago. Since she seemed to not like me at all, I respectfully give her space. She sits in the same parking lot. She still sits directly in the sun. Everything she owns is in two cloth shopping bags. Am I supposed to care at all about that, or even notice? The universe can confuse me death.

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