Thursday, May 22, 2008

endless wipe down / 3wks till tour?

Pizza jobs are an endless wipe down. They are for me. The clock is running while I slowly make zero dollars and no cents. To make the clock go faster, I focus on wiping down everything in the restaurant constantly. That way I look busy and I'm focused on something. It works. I figure I can't just go on wiping stainless steel, counter top veneers and glass forever - it'll get old. So today I put in my two week notice. My job here lasted longer than I expected it to. I got a paycheck for $185 today, and I ate for free, and worked and accomplished very little. Not so bad.

I put in my two weeks here, and that sets a timeline in motion. I'll finish up in Pennsylvania, and probably (maybe, hopefully?) leave on my bicycle trip in three weeks. Let's say June 12. I'm not ready. I'm physically ready, and the bicycle will be ready after I bolt some cranks on. I've got my gear figured out. I don't know if I'm ready mentally. More specifically, the trip feels like nothing but a foggy notion. I know very well that pedaling out of the driveway will be a surreal foray into outer space. I'm going to check out Jupiter's moons.

Past the initial squeamish surreal churn into action, I suspect I'm going to have a great time. I don't feel like accomplishing anything else right now. A month or two of riding north and hiding in the woods seems to make sense. Technically, in my over-romanticized version, I could do this forever while scavenging and making just enough money to eat food and ride to new places - exploring, and seeing microscopically close every single detail. A major aspect of bicycle trips is the rose-smelling: meditative, contemplative, coffee consumative, sitting time. Unless you're going ultra-marathon, there's an abundance of time. You can think about endless hypothetical scenarios, and laugh at how ludicrous it is to be where you are when you are. I'm not looking for an epiphany. What I hope to gain won't strike quickly. I'm looking for a perception shift. I want to be happy with less, and comfortable existing at a moment in time rather than in a series of convoluted goals and worries. I'm going for survival on-the-fly; where you need almost nothing and experience almost everything. I want to spend time sitting and observing and being satisfied with just that.

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