Today was the day to think about vans. Today was the day to figure out the shape of what is coming next. Van or no van? It sits dirty and abandoned. The inside has gotten damp, and there is mold. When I closed the rear sliding side window, it shattered. It looks like a dirty piece of shit.
I'm not used to being a vehicle owner. I'm out of practice. It seems like an expensive anxiety-inducing situation, and I'm trying to simplify my life and gain some momentum. I considered selling the van just to be rid of it. Fortunately, a supportive mother and another good friend with her feet planted firmly on the earth convinced me to do what I actually wanted: keep it. My dad would have had me sell it today for a dollar and not look back. So I knew I should definitely consider keeping it.
To work, then! I hooked up the newly-charged battery to the terminals and cranked it on. I rolled to the car wash where I spent many quarters. I started to recognize a vehicle which was more familiar. I took everything out. It was either trash, or it was getting washed. Two piles. I took care of the moldy areas, and spent time with carpet cleaner and a shop vac. It's my van again.
I renewed my registration, signed up for a knitting class, and even made a couple tie dye shirts with a kit I've been meaning to finally use.
I'm sorting out my life. I don't know the future, but I know it will be good. I see a ton of potential. I think it might be great.
Wawa coffee paid for with a twenty; put the balance on pump 19.
I drove to Philly wearing a cowboy hat an re-programming the presets on my radio. I drove right to the old house on Howard to get my shit.
Basic civility can't hide the fact that Nat hates me. He was there as I took a few boxes and a bicycle - the sum of what I allowed to build up in this house. If hate is over stepping it, I at least know that he doesn't want to see me. I shut the door hard for the second time out of two that we've last seen each other. I put my foot on the accelerator and I knew I wouldn't be back for a long time. That particular dust needs a long time to settle.
West Philadelphia is the capital of awesome. I love it here, and it's been too long since I've felt like it was home. I crossed the river and found easy parking. I will be staying at Shelly's for a couple days until arrangements can be made to get me into the next place to float.
I laid under some covers reading a Kindle when Shelly's roommate came in for a visit. I knew she was awesome, but it was nice to finally talk for a bit. I've been socially removed. I love West Philly, and I'm eager to make a strong effort to meet people and be outside. That's who I am.