Thursday, June 26, 2008

Shrooms, dude

I started out reading Harper's magazine and laying around all day. I was lazy and unready to move. I kinda knew this wasn't going to be the day that I continued on this trip in earnest. I felt like I might be ready to move around 3pm. But I didn't. I still had the somewhat worrisome knee pain, and wanted to waste more of the day. I called Jonas around 6. It was clear that I wasn't going anywhere. Jonas had previously mentioned having shrooms. I asked. He still had them. Mushrooms can be a little bit of an endeavor, but I was plenty ready. I ate the typical normal prescribed dosage, and by 7:21pm I was sitting with Jonas in his back yard and feeling funny. Which is great. Mushrooms can have an effect similar to acid, but overall they are much more reasonable. Where LSD leaves you wide awake into the next day and feeling a little warped, shrooms just gradually lose intensity until you're back to normal, ready to sleep. I've tried shrooms at least a dozen times, acid only twice - one tab each time. I prefer shrooms because I don't have the feeling that my brain is being zapped quite so furiously. I like that shrooms, when respected, can give you perspective on your current self which, for me, usually ends up being very positive.

Examples: Shelly decided to quit eating meat, Nat realized he should build his family the computer that they needed. I gave up meat for two years, which is the only reason I'm open to so many foods today. I didn't eat well before. I barely touched fruits and veggies. My food preferences changed drastically in those years. I am better for life.

Well, I sat around watching objects shift and listening to some Baltic music for a bit over at Nat's. I couldn't fathom the idea of this epic bicycle journey - but I wasn't surprised that the concept seemed so abstract while tripping. Let me summarize what I learned. I've been having this wish that everyone would speak more freely and openly and honestly. I want to see a shift toward everyone being more approachable and friendly. Yet: I'm not good at presenting these characteristics myself. It's pointless for me to wish for everyone to magically change. I need to change myself, if possible, and work with whatever that gives me. Another epiphany: Nat said "why don't you get a knee brace?" This suggestion seemed so obvious, but it hadn't occurred to me.

As the shrooms were leaving me back in calm peace, I sat on the roof on Howard Street with Nat and Mark talking and enjoying the Philadelphia skyline, and the view of the elevated rail a block away. The El. I was ready to resume my journey. Even a little bit excited. What else am I doing? Notably, it also occurred to me that if I get sick of riding I can always hop on a bus to wherever I want. Burlington Vermont. Matagami Quebec at the head of the James Bay Road. (Fast Forward). I was reminded that unlimited options exist, and I don't have to be compelled by my mild fucking neurosis to follow strict rules that nobody set but me.

1 comment:

ghettorigged said...

as crazy as it may sound, i think of your last paragraph here and i think visually of the scene in Forest Gump when he runs back and forth across the US and at one point he just says "ok I think I'm done now" and turns around and walks home. how satisfying it must be to fulfill that desire and have the freedom to just stop anytime. is it ok to say "run forest run" to you if i mean it in a liberating manner? you are FREE!