Preparation, limitation, spillage

I'm making preparations to get going on this bicycle trip. I'm still dragging my feet, and I still don't care that much. I took the milk crate off of my bicycle rack, because you can't put panniers (bags) on the rack with the milk crate sticking over the sides. I'd love to ride with a milk crate full of shit, but logistically I hit a snag. I don't know a good way to use panniers and the crate, so for now, the crate is out. I stuffed all my sleeping gear into one pannier with room to spare, and that makes me happy.

I tried to have really awesome sex with a super model. I had a great time, and fucked and fooled around a bit, but in the end I think maybe Vodka doesn't work like Viagra. Not in huge doses. So now I'm thinking about that. Trying to figure out why I wasn't solid as a rock pressed against her extremely sexy body. I'm confused by this, but I don't make judgments about myself. Who knows? My thoughts are that I hope not coming isn't an insult. Is it insulting to suck a lazy dick? I have limited experience with sex. I don't know if I'd rather come fast, or just try every tactic to bring her to an orgasm. Actually, I do know. The latter is probably my favorite thing ever. Hopefully that's enough to get invited over, and we can see about whatever else.

Maybe that was all about vodka drinks, probably not completely. I'm not running lab experiments. I guess I'm glad that I don't take anything very seriously. "I guess" meaning that I'm not sure what's truly best for me, but I suspect that taking too much stuff seriously can be a downer. So maybe I dodged a bullet. Maybe I was born lucky knowing this, or maybe I thought myself into adopting this mentality when I was still tiny. Now it looks like fact. Furthermore as I see the big picture, getting a life and a certain upbringing and mentality is kind of a one-shot dice roll. Completely random. I don't want to waste whatever it is that I got. You can waste some - everyone spills a little bit, and that's part of the deal. But don't fucking sit there watching the whole thing spill out onto the carpet. I'm trying not to do that. If I do, I at least want to laugh, and rub it in with my foot.