Friday, April 29, 2011

My Relationship with Isopods and Females

Probably more important than the isopod in the shower is the fact that I'm slipping. I'm slipping into getting just really drunk and toasty every day. Maybe I need to reel it in a little. Jesus - of course I do. Shit.

I saw an isopod in the shower. Me and isopods are close. I've been hanging out with them ever since I was a kid flipping over bricks. I found two out in Kennett, and made sure to put them somewhere safe where they could converse. If you're thinking about killing any isopods, I recommend that you don't. They don't bite, and they never do a damn thing wrong.

At 7:21pm, there were no isopods in sight. My hands were on the steering wheel of Tara's car, and for once, I was operating the vehicle. It's rare, but it happens. We're going to the Outback. I have one 40oz Colt 45, and a 24oz can of Blast, which is also produced by Colt 45. (They're unopened, and I wouldn't have my hands where they are if they weren't.) I recently sewed a Colt 45 patch onto my shorts, and I'm not joking. I forgot to mention it before, but it's there. I like it a lot.

Later, we're going to a movie. We're acting like a couple, but we're breaking up in two minutes. It's a scheduled breakup, but tonight feels very much like we are together. It's a rare scenario that I'd never imagined before.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I understand. I'll be full time van dwelling next July in my little '97 Honda Odyssey but I'm doing prep work right now. One of the things I've done is join AA. Not because drinking is causing a problem in my life - I've never even blacked out or had a hang over -but because I tried to go without drinking for a year once to support a friend and I lasted two months. That's it. So then I tried again, and I lasted a month. It's been a two or three margaritas every few weeks ever since. Yeah, maybe that's not a lot to some people, but I really should be able to go a year without alcohol if I want to go a year and that's not happening. Therefore, it's AA for me. =D My friends say I'm a little extreme but whatever. It's the principle of the vice. I will succeed eventually...and then I'm getting blasted.