A lot has transpired, and a lot is in motion. I am back together with Chance, thank god, and we are moving to Chicago. Right now I am having a fucked up ADHD day, and I want to post an update here, but I can hardly articulate a single thing I want to say. This stuff that I say - writing here - has gone on far longer than makes any sense. I never write about the cool stuff anymore. This is a personal blog where I used to be proud to post every feeling I had. I can't do that the same way I used to. I am the same person, and life simply keeps chugging along. I don't have so many fresh epiphanies or realizations about myself or the nature of existing as a human being on Earth. I am simply doing it, and I don't have so much to say.
I am absolutely confused and overwhelmed. I am exhausted. I fail to have a sense of reality, and I feel I have always been groundless in that regard. I am a fleshy bag of guts and emotions with electrical charges shooting aimlessly through gray water. At my best times, I find this state hilarious.
Everything is as it should be. How it must be. I am not depressed, I am simply out of my mind.
At times on a bicycle, in a place that is unfamiliar, I look for the highest point and ride to it. I find a path or destination, and follow an invisible thread. That is the only thing I do. That is the only thing of which I am capable.