June 18, 2019

Pro Tip: if you're going to saw up plywood to make shelves, probably do it outside. I know it's hot and there are mosquitoes on the porch now, but if you run the saw inside, you're going to get sawdust all over everything. It will be yuck.

I made some cool shelves for my room. The room is still a shitshow, but now there are some shelves. I can either paint the shelves, or just start putting stuff on them. I don't know. The shelves would look nicer if I had a router and I could bevel the front edges. Also, if I cut the dividers to the correct size, it would look a little bit straighter, but most people probably won't notice.

You know what would be cool? A workshop. I'd love to have an organized shop with a table saw and all that. I'd love to be building stuff like these shelves for a living. I don't have any college degree or anything, so if I'm not able to stay self employed, the available job situation looks kinda grim. I mean... I'd gladly work on a garbage truck if I had to, but I'd like to be in charge of my schedule if I can. I'd also like to make more money when I work harder, and less if I don't.

One step at a time. I'm trying to be accepting of my slow pace. I just don't have a lot of oomph to throw at the day. I have a few productive hours. Maybe.

I got some real progress going on having health insurance, and thus Adderall. I just gotta pay the bill, and I should theoretically then be able to make an appointment with a doctor. I've been holding onto some pills for emergency, and only using them sparingly, and never taking an adequate dosage. 20mg is good.

I took 20mg of Adderall yesterday, and that's how these shelves appeared in my room. The previous day, I took nothing, and it was a considerable struggle just to simply buy the plywood. I've got stupid anxiety coming from any direction these days. So you know what? I drank beer. It was quick and effective. That was a couple weeks ago. Yesterday, after building the shelves, I went to pick up Chance after work, which is a thing I do a lot. I've been staying at their place pretty much constantly, so it has been easy to ignore the state of my own home.

Me and Chance went out to get tacos and beer. I was still feeling the Adderall, but it was wearing off a little bit. I haven't taken a full 20mg pill in a long time, so I wasn't used to it, and I felt uncomfortable. Nothing beer couldn't fix. We had lots of beer, and I had a legitimately enjoyable time. I wish it was always that easy forever.

I took another 20mg today, so I oughta be doing something to get my room - aka sewing studio - set up and operational. Instead, I am typing this shit, 'cause I haven't written anything in a month, so it seemed like a conversational-sounding post was in order. Alright, wish me luck. Like... a lot of luck.