I am afraid to hurt people's feelings. I am afraid to inconvenience people. I am not able to decline when any person asks for help. So much is this true, that I will arrive a half hour early for any appointment. Sometimes I will park nearby and wait for a little bit so it doesn't look like I've arrived as early as I did. I don't want anybody to feel uncomfortable because they think that they've kept somebody waiting.
I like nearly everybody. Strong personalities who others won't tolerate are interesting to me. I try to find an explanation for a strange or abrasive nature, and then I befriend the person and try to learn more. I am good at it.
I put a lot of energy into being liked. If I am not liked, and there is nothing I can do about it, I try to accept the fact gracefully, but always with some regret and discomfort.
I would like to be more assertive. I would like to stop worrying that somebody will think I am not a nice person. No matter what I do, some people will not like me, and some people will be hurt by me. Some people will not see the kindness in my heart. When this happens, I wish I could shrug more and fret less.
I offer non-judgmental acceptance in the face of any horror story, oddity, shame, embarrassment, or perceived shortcoming. Sometimes I sense people becoming attached to me. Because of these aspects of my nature, they feel a bond. I have no fear of strange or damaged or broken people. If a person wants to dialog or interact with me, then I welcome them with open arms. I keep a lot of secrets, but I have none of my own. This can be a recipe for fast bonds and strong connections.
I leave myself wide open for people to feel an attachment to me, but I don't have any answers. I just want affection, and I want to be liked. I can't provide solutions or guidance for life. I am not a guardian angel or a manic pixie girl best friend. When people who think they need me find out who I really am - another human who can't help, and will ultimately disappoint them - they sometimes become hurt, and then I feel responsible, which is precisely what I never wanted in the first place.
In friendships I am safe. In dating I need to learn to grow up.