Sending transmission: are you receiving this? Are you receiving this, Chris? I want you to remember this day. I need you to channel how this day felt. You need to get back to your senses.
You were once 36, Chris. You sat on a porch in east Austin and you didn't need anything else. You hadn't been drunk in six days. The worst part was over. Lizards visited from the crack in the porch next to your door. Everything felt possible.
You knew by that age there was no free will. You knew the statistical odds that you would wake up again in a hell of your own making. Still, you fought a winning battle as the sun warmed the skin over your shins. You were happy and full of resolve. You need to go back there, and you need to fight again.