Sleeping forever

I'm still sleeping at 7:07. I know 7:21 is coming up, so I sit up and open the van doors. Time to get moving. I'm turning into a sleep professional. The air was cool enough today for me to sleep with my van's doors closed, and still be comfortable with a blanket. I kept the little sliding window open. It's a little screened in conversion van window, and my head is right next to it when I sleep. I laid around all day feeling dazed, feeling distant. I woke up intermittently to watch some passing rain or roll over. I want to have a better understanding of life and reality - but the only thing I feel certain of is that any understanding is just an illusion. There can't be a point to this, and if there was - how would anybody know? Then what? There's just a brain, and some observable shit going on. I need to break away from getting wrapped up in these thoughts, but I don't want to disguise what I see right in front of me just to attempt to make everything easier. I can't make myself just shut up and shop. I can't get excited about making money. I can't watch much television. I can sleep and think. And drink. And read. I could actually use some company. I made some calls. Now it's 9:10pm and I have the entire night sitting in front of me. With as much as I slept, I'll probably be seeing the sun before my next nap.

Shelly stayed over. Hanging out in my van is fantastic. There's limo lighting in the back, and you're surrounded by speakers and soft walls. When music, drinking and conversation are the entire agenda, I doubt I could find a better setting. I haven't done anything to the decor except throw the back seats in a dumpster - and I'm thinking it really might be perfect how I have it. I still want a deep cycle battery, but that's about it. Shelly was nice enough to stay up pretty late. We rode bicycles up town for last call. I ordered her a beer, but then had to drink it 'cause she wasn't up for it. Drunk cycling through town on a nice night is the best. Then smoke weed. Then sit in my chair quietly listening to music until I think I can finally convince my body to fall asleep. I got a gazillion albums and songs from Shelly's hard drive, then I fixed her bicycle. I did not try to have sex. Just conversation about that and everything else.

Yes: I do realize that I should probably getthefuckoutta here pretty soon. Sticking around here is like not being able to wake up when you know you're dreaming. I'm having Kennett Square REM sleep - having a really tripped out dream - and I'm not waking up until I leave. I want to watch how this all unfolds, but I also need to get back to reality. Soon.

Complacent, lazy, amazing

I am an absolutely amazing human being. I can't make myself do anything. Anything at all. My day picks up around 11pm or something. I sit around and barely do anything until then. Then I basically just start drinking or something like that. I stay up as late as possible. I sleep out in my van, which is absolutely fantastic. The sun starts to heat up the van, and I open the doors and lay around until 11 or 12. I start moving around noon, and waste the entire day with a laptop or something like that. I have at least a dozen bicycles that need to get worked on or thrown out, and I just don't feel like it. I want to have $1000, and leave on this bicycle trip. That should be soon. And I'm very ready. Though I could leave in a few days if I took some action, I still sit here getting no closer to moving. At 7:21 - I'm on my laptop looking at sketches of Philadelphia characters. I'm getting kinda used to Kennett Square again. I like my parking spot, and I like crawling inside when the sun is too hot, and sitting around the big house. I take naps. I haven't driven the van anywhere in a week except to get whiskey.

I'm truly excited about this bicycle trip. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I'll wake up and take action soon.

Reading in the Truman Annex

I'm reading Into Thin Air by Jon Krakaur. I'm sitting in my chair in my van which is my house in the big parking lot in the Truman Annex. I woke up this morning to a dead battery. Guess my little fan isn't such a hot idea quite yet. Here's what I did: called AAA, read while waiting. Drove to Baby's Coffee at mile marker 15 to charge the battery up. Got a big coffee and muffin. Sat in the van with the doors open and read. I sweated like crazy. No shirt on, sweating. Some breezes came in, but I was in the sun. Then I drove down to the Truman Annex spot and read some more. There is a good steady breeze there, so no sweat. Then I got tired and slept a good few hours. Now I'm up and reading again. I don't usually spend nearly this much time in my van home, but upon analyzing my feelings, I've discovered that I don't get the boring cooped-up feeling of sitting inside all day. My senses are still aware of being outside, and my mind appreciates this. It's like I spent all day in the park relaxing with my favorite chair and my bed for when I needed a little sleepy time nap.

Napping on Grinell Street

I'm laying down in my van preparing to take a nap. I'm comfortable, relaxed. The van has had a makeover. Yesterday I borrowed a die grinder from work. I drove down into the Truman Annex in the big lot by the water and plugged my extension cord into the secret outlet. With a lot of sweat and yellow spark fanfare the seat was removed, and subsequently ditched in a dumpster up on Duck Ave. Then I borrowed a shop vac to clean the carpet. I kept two sections of the bed - just the top cushions, none of the bulk. That's what I'm laying on now. The van seems much roomier, but I did lose storage space from under the bed. Still, I prefer this setup. This van is my sanctuary. I feel at home, and I'm digging the new bed setup. I sleep amongst my stuff, and I live in a cozy bubble.