Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Visiting a girl I used to know.

I went to Kristin's. I sat on her bed and awkwardly persisted to be a version of myself. All the same, except sitting on some girl's blankets. 

When someone leaves the room, what you don't want to do is look at their email. The tab was open, and I didn't want to look at it. She's back on OkCupid. Fuck. Fuck that was fast. It's none of my business, and I felt like I punched myself in the stomach. I felt sick, and I wanted to run away. I wanted to go home and stop talking. I didn't want to be mean, I just wanted to preserve my own feelings and take care of myself. Instead, I opted to shut the fuck up and be cool about drowning. It's ok. These are the rules. She ditched the best guy ever for a dice roll on a dull-normal. I don't like her odds, and I don't like the way I'm feeling. 

The night was nice. I liked being with her, and wondered if this would be the last time.

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