Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Good plans and looking bad on paper.

Maybe I'll start a savings plan. Maybe I'll go back to college and/or get a job that involves something that actually matters or something that I care about. Perhaps with those savings I will do something like buy a simple-tiny-humble-efficient Tumbleweed Home. It's a good path with rewarding results. I could be proud of that, and it's a reasonable and achievable goal for someone like myself. That's one way to go. It would be extremely sensible, in fact.

The combination of Not Drinking and this college/money/house talk might make me seem more marketable in the dating sense. Or at least less like a Terrible Candidate.

I'm going to drive to Key West soon. I'll be there for awhile. And I just quit drinking. Those are two things that make me think I'm not ready to burst into a new official relationship. I was surprised to realize this myself. If I had the opportunity a month ago, I'd have signed all of the official boyfriend documents and considered myself the luckiest man alive. But I've been kept at arm's length for awhile now. I've been warned, explained to, and kept at bay.

I'm the same guy I was. Drunk smash-tooth Chris is the same Chris that might surprisingly not ruin his own life. I'm the same guy. I get it. I totally understand why dating an alcoholic who wants nothing more than to live in a van forever is not a great idea. Looks bad on paper. Part of me is that guy. But the same flesh also covers something that might not self destruct.

Also, to be clear: living in a van is totally boss.

No comments: