Sunday, March 5, 2017

What vanning is like sometimes.

I woke up at another Walmart. I opened the doors to let in fresh air. As I began to walk toward the entrance, the word "beautiful" entered my mind again. I think I might be getting stupider. I laughed. To be absolutely sure, there is nothing beautiful about this scene today. Not the look or the feel or the people.

I am a little bit damp and a little bit sick. I haven't seen sunshine in awhile. My shorts have been washed twice since December. They are returning to a stiff cardboard-like state. I smell funny, and I absolutely need a new piss jug. My diet is passable, but I'm tired a lot. Drinking is keeping me sick. I've had a sore throat for a week.

Still, I remain in good spirits. The amusement and novelty of traveling endures. The sun will come back and I will make new friends. I will return more or less to reality. For now I might be slipping. It's hard to tell for sure. I don't have a unit of measure to use. I wouldn't know what to compare myself to.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello Chris, try Gatorade bottles for piss jugs. I have a 1 gallon and a half gallon size I've been using them for just about five years now. And I mean using them full time van dwelling these things are made out of concrete you could build a house out of them.
Ray. naptown,md.usa

Chris Harne said...

You must be washing them out or something? Mine smell like the dead. It gets to the point where I would spend a buck just for the privilege of throwing it out.

Anonymous said...

i put a few oz.of bleach periodically let it slosh around for a day. they look like new after, i call it piss bottle maintenance. a small price to pay for the bragging rights of announcing to all who will listen,"I've been pissing in the same bottles for 5 years "

Chris Harne said...

Pure genius. My life just got slightly better.

tim joe comstock said...

Bleach fixes everything. Me, I use empty (of course) pPringle potato chip cans. I eat one can of Pringles every four days so it works out. Plus the fit is perfect.

Oddly, I have become a de facto van dweller even though the company I work for puts us up in totally acceptable three star hotels. I just prefer the music and privacy of my 1999 Astro and also, I am, after all, a little crazy. The legality of sleeping in the parking lot of a hotel where you have a room has yet to be tested, although I am certain I could sue the shit out of Marriott, Best Western, La Quinta et al should they push the issue and (god forbid) call the cops on me.

But who knows? I am a one who is no stranger to having the cops called concerning my activities and any day now it may happen again.

Chris! It is three a.m. in Florida and I am whacking the shit out of a $40 bottle of coconut rum. My companions of last night (all trailer dwellers) apparently absconded with the remains of a handle of Fireball and at least a half case of beer. I don't care. What I care about is finding my checkbook in its not-spot and discovering a missing check. But because of the beauty of the internet I have already put a stop pay on that little orphan and now, mind at ease, I am pestering you.

So there ya go.

yer old pal, tj

Chris Harne said...

Always good to hear from drunk Tim. Or TJ in any state. I hope you were able to give that bottle of rum what it deserved.

I'm temporarily off drinking. I've had a sore throat for weeks. I suspect a bacterial infection now, and I am motivated to murder those fucks. No sugar, no booze, no coffee. Lots of tea with lemon. Garlic in simple food.

I've slept in hotel parking lots so many times. It's kind of the perfect spot. Wifi, breakfast, and bathrooms in the morning. You can always say your wife kicked you out of the room, or your buddy was snoring. But you won't need to. Nobody cares about what they don't notice. I believe we are all much more invisible than we assume.

Chris