Monday, March 10, 2008
Bicycle Ride with Steve
It's 7:21, and I'm talking to Steve. I'm thinking about my apprehensive feelings, healthy lifestyles, and where I want to be right now. We rode ten miles up the keys, and got to a serene little beach with a beautiful sunset, and a ton of found-shoes and found-flip flops covering a section of fence bordering some Navy land. What could be more beautiful? It's places and moments like this that I love the most. This is where I can look at myself and be happy to exist right now at this moment. Here, now: I do not feel this. I feel like I belong somewhere else, or like I'm running late. Maybe this is a result of my geographic location, or maybe it's just how I treat myself right now. I had a piece of fried chicken and a big fat beer before this ride. Delicious, but perhaps not necessary in the middle of the day. It's 7:21pm, and I'm discussing my feelings about this with Steve. We're riding side by side, and talking about how once again I'm feeling like I drink too much, and I'm too unhealthy. It's been back and forth like this since before I turned 20. It would be simpler if drinking and health weren't something I needed to keep in check. But this is something I always need to keep in check. I let out some slack, then I reel it in again. I'm discussing this with Steve. On the ride up, we struggled through a strong headwind. At this moment we're a short distance from the left turn that will put us right in line with the wind all the way to Key West. Our previous work will pay off with an easy cycle ride back, and my chest and figurative heart are feeling a little less constricted. At this point. At this moment.