It was my first winter in Key West and by this time I had my bearings. I had the public resources mastered and a shady location to park and sleep in peace. I had a key card for the bathroom of a fancy hotel, and it was my favorite location to take a shit. The sinks were gold and the stalls were large. Best of all there was almost never any traffic. That is until the day I learned the design drawbacks of a black marble floor. As I sat on the can, the door burst open and a man rushed to the urinal while opening his pants like a barn door. On the floor directly in front of my stall, framed neatly in the space below the door, was a crystal clear reflection focused straight up under his big ugly nuts. I’ve never seen anything like it before or since.
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