You want to know something? I was in Ardmore with Kristin last week. We just missed the hours of a thrift shop that I wanted to check out. Behind the thrift shop were some dumpsters heaped with antique furniture. By "antique" I mean "old," and the defining characteristic in my mind is when solid wood is used instead of pencil shavings held together with glue. The furniture was broken and incomplete, but I saw a dresser with a couple drawers that looked interesting. I don't know if inanimate objects can have panache, but these drawers made me wonder.
So. I pulled out a drawer, and I was inspecting it when some guy showed up on the scene and told me I couldn't have it.
"But it's in the trash," I pointed out.
This guy was full of information. It's their trash and that's their rule and it's their policy that I can't have it. He used my favorite tone. He explained this as though his hands were tied. He made it seem as though there was no physical way to circumvent this rule which he had created. It was as if this rule had become self-aware and there could be no telling what fury my defiance might bring down upon us. It was one thick piece of baloney. I was actually on the fence about taking the drawers anyway - I was only in the inspection phase when he interrupted - but the guy's pep talk was incredibly motivational.
"Right... that's fucking ridiculous, man." I went back to the car and pulled into a parking spot about ten feet away. The guy made it look like he might play the waiting game, but about two minutes later he seemed to remember some business to attend to. He got in his car and exited the parking lot. I walked over, got the drawers, and then followed suit.
If I ever tell someone they can't have something that I've already thrown away, please put a bullet in me. Make it two in the stomach, and shake your head slowly as I fade.
Today I got to work on those drawers. I'm using them turned up on their ends as wall-mounted bookshelves. I found a scrap board and ripped it on the table saw a couple times to make the shelves. I painted the little shelves with some weird old varnish so they match the old drawers better. The modification and repairs took about an hour so far. I attached a short section of a board on the back of the shelves / bottom of the drawer, and I will mount it on the wall by screwing through all of that and into a stud. Boss Hog.
The drawers still have the crazy-old locks and an interesting patina to boot. I can't figure out why that guy wanted them in a landfill so bad.