I asked her out on a second date. I txt'd the girl from my date a week ago and asked if she ate food and maybe wanted to cook something. I offered to do the shopping and bring some wine. (Always with the wine these days. I'm such a fancy alcoholic. Life is getting so cool.)
I am one nervous sonofabitch. I can also over-think shit like a bastard.
We ate some food featuring vegetables and a nice polenta. We sat and talked forever. 1000 opportunities to kiss her floated by, and it started to get mentally painful. What am I doing? I couldn't stand it. I made a move, and this led to plenty of somewhat awkward kissing. It could have moved further, but I literally had to stop. No chemistry, maybe. I guess that happens. Or maybe I was just nervous and thinking too much. But I wasn't horny, and that seems strange. She's cute and I like her. Poor communication. Wrong music, no doubt. I hate this part about being a dude. The dude is supposed to make the first move. There's a lot of bullshit mind-reading, and I want out.
Oh, maybe it's this too: She's smart and she seems wholesome and nerdy. She's cute, and I think she's the bees knees. I don't want to slather her situation with a smelly kinky nasty alcoholic. I love myself just the way I am, but baloney doesn't pair well with all other foods.
Maybe I just wanted to be with Kristin instead. I don't think I'm feeling the dating thing, and I might save myself some trouble and quit trying. I'm pretty sure Kristin continues to date other people, and I'm sure I'm not stepping over any boundaries by doing the same. We're not a couple. She's just the most fun person ever.